December 12, 2018 

approximately 8:15 pm 

Currently, I’m at the airport in Detroit Michigan. Omw to Atlanta Georgia. This man next to me is a black man who is about 45 years of age and he is bald and a milk chocolate color on the heavy side but not big. I went into descriptive detail to give the reader some type of image so that when I go on about the story they can understand what this man looks like and to prove a point that no matter what it is what it is. He has been on FaceTime with his main chick/ girlfriend/ companion. Or whatsoever you must name her title as. He had clearly made a mistake that I’m

Not sure of. But the reason I know he made a mistake with this woman is because he is very apologetic and also had been on the phone with this woman going on 45 minutes now. I was not listening to the conversation but then again it’s hard not to hear. He is not using headphones and volume is up to hear both sides of the story. So he’s going on and on about how sorry he is. Then offer her a trip to Atlanta tomorrow and she can get her hair and makeup done tomorrow as well as a token of his forgiveness.. this made me wonder how many times has he offered something materialist and so monetary with not much thought behind it to this woman or any woman in this case.. he did mention the fact that he can’t live without her because she holds so much value to his life. Going on about how she adds structure to his life. She asked him about lying why did he lie about whatever it was..:

He said he didn’t know he said he didn’t want to say what came out of his mouth but since it already came out he stuck with it. Now this.. was a life lesson for me at the age of 23 at DTWwaiting to board my plane. I just had an epiphany suddenly. THIS IS NOT THE END OF THE STORY FOR ME. It’s ok to not have everything all planned and up running right now. And this also taught me that this is not the only man doing this to a woman. The first thing is very bad to me is that he is buying her things instead of doing what counts most. CHANGED BEHAVIOR yeah a girl may want a shopping spree from her man or even unexpected flowers sent to her workplace. But what a woman really wants out the man that she loves and wants is growth and changed behavior for the best.

I thought about my situation.. and all I can think is I have total control over what happens.. I can be the woman that sticks around through whatever and tell you when you’re wrong in a situation to love you from a distance but the thing with this is he won’t ever really know what it’s like to

Lose something from messing up and since I know this the possibilities of me just keeping him just cause is rising higher than the love for the man. Because he’s taking advantage of the "I’m

Sorry" and forgiveness and is not learning how to truly love the one he says is for him. So it’s a double whammy no one wins In this situation

Or on the hand, I can just leave everything where are stands and however he falls is on him I did my part and kept everything trill as it could ever be. But this method seems like it’s a loss on my end. On my end on his too but not as much it’ll always feel like that to the receivers. I feel like I’ve invested so much not just time but everything I had. And that’s what’s killing me. I don’t want to be too close to get hurt wanna be close enough to see where things go will even maybe support. But that causes me to be too invested. At this age it sucks because your peers are enough to do better and know better but young enough to not care because they feel like they have so much time to get everything all together. And I don’t agree with that method. That method has gotten many hearts broken including mine. Stringing along a loved one trying to convince yourself that you’re ready and will grow out of there habits that people are allowing to become their lifestyle. But what am I to do with this forgiving heart..I’m trying to fight all of these demons around him that he doesn’t see right now and only him getting closer to God and time will reveal. It gets exhausting but I continue to pray and believe in God that he will